Updated 8/1/2003
The correct way to push buggies: Actually, there is no correct way. Each person has his or her own style. Individualism is stressed on the Lot. This is just a lesson for first-time buggy pushers. Extend arms as much as possible, and push from the legs. Very simple, yet effective. So get to practicing, civilians, and just maybe you will one day be as good as us. Here is an example:
Ok, there are many things wrong with this picture. Obviously the guy is not a member of the #0766 cart crew because he is straining too much. The #0766 cart crew members would have no trouble with this load. The second thing is that his arms are not extended. This makes a BIG difference people.
Now that is how you do it.
Some of the eventful things that have happened on the lot:
The Knife Fight--One night there was almost a knife fight in front of the grocery entrance. A butcher pulled out a knife to stop a man that was beating his wife in front of the store. Joel had management call the police.(Joel had to ask them four times to call the police because they don't trust the 98s) Joel then about got in fight with the man that had beaten his wife because the man didn't want Joel getting his tag. So Joel said he didn't need the tag if the man would stay by his truck until the police arrived, and he actually stayed. He was arrested twenty minutes later. What a moron.
Brent Rhoden--He worked as a 98 for almost a year, providing the others with plenty of stories they can continue to tell for the rest of their life.
Vic Dura--The terror of the lot, Vic was the most notorious 98 ever. If management only knew the irony of Vic getting fired over a 33 cent donut.
Jason Libenski--For about a month, the 98s had Jason as a manager, with him actually outside working with us. Very cool indeed.
The Drunk Guy Wrecking Tim's Car--One day the 98s were having a Pow-Wow at a corral close to garden center, when a drunk guy comes and starts doing donuts with his car(all tires flat). Later we find out that the guy had run into Tim McCravy's car, among many others, completely demolishing it.
Catching Shoplifters--David Votava and Jamie King received the glorious honor of getting to tackle a shoplifter. Tim McCravy and Mark Hanback also recieved this honor, jumping off the Pet Depot cliff to catch a shoplifter
The Big Sandwich--Twice the 98s have devoured the "Big Sandwich", now a tradition on the 4th of July.
Gum-Stealing--Three 98s are fired for stealing gum and money out of the gum machines in the lobby.
Car Pushing--Two 98s are written up--almost fired--for pushing buggies with a car. What was once a common practice is now only a legend.
Orange Shirts--During the spring of '98, Wal-Mart management made the 98s wear orange cart crew shirts. At first the shirts were hated, but the cart crew accepted them when they discovered the fashion statement they were making.
Drunk Actress--A drunk woman pulls up beside Jamie King and begins to tell him how much he looked like an actor, how she used to be an actress, how she could get him started in an actor career, and finally showed him her cellulite. She then begins to harass Michael Gehrs, calling him gay. She then begs Tim McCravy to get some keys made for her until Management finally calls the police on her.
Military 98s--Four former members of the 98 family are now in the military--Lee Caldwell and Tony Williams the Marines, Dusty Durham the Air Force, and Tim McCravy the Coast Guard.
Lee Caldwell--Lee, a member of the original crew, is made manager of the 98s for a short while. He later transferred to receiving and is now in the Marines.
Tim McCravy--Once he had overtime by Wednesday, the quickest any Wal-Mart associate has gotten overtime. Needless to say, he was written up.
Wal-Mart Policy--Recently the Florence Wal-Mart discovered a little known company-wide policy; no associate under the age of 18 can work past 11 p.m. regardless if they have school the next morning or not. This policy has caused much stress to the 18 and over Cart Crew members.
Consipiracies/Diseases against the Cart Crew: There are two serious diseases common to the 98s--the 98 Affliction and the Stripes.
The 98 Affliction: Troublesome to say the least. The only cure is cornstarch, preferably Argo Cornstarch. The U.S government is currently conducting a scientific study against Wal-Mart to see why 98s, even when they have quit Wal-Mart, still receive the 98 Affliction. Samples from buggies and Gatorade® have been taken and are currently being tested. Although Wal-Mart emphasizes that they did not allow the Cart Crew to be in the presence of chemicals or the like of and claims no responsibility for the disease, the 98s, past and present, and the 98s' families want answers. This disease is usually brought about by hot weather and blue jean shorts.
The Stripes: This disease causes mysterious horizontal lines across your shorts. No one knows what causes The Stripes.
98 Lingo and definitions: These are a few terms/words that the 98s have been known to use.
98--The term/number for which the Cart Crew is known to the Wal-Mart associates.
Code BSL--The Birdseed Lady is in the building.
Love of the Lot--Hard to describe. A special friendship/bond between past and present cart crew members. Even people who have been away from the cart crew for years still feel and contain the Love of the Lot.
Code POA--Something pleasing to the eyes. Join the Code POA fan club ladies!
Satan's Spawn--Baby buggies
Satan's Lair--Garden center
Rosemary's Children--Coke holders on the buggies
Pow-Wow--98 meeting at a cart corral.
Code J--Meaning known only to a few 98s.
The Elite--A select group of 98s past and present who are considered the best and coolest. Although a list of members has never been made, it is understood among the Elite who is considered an Elite member.
The Original Crew--The group of 98s put together during the summer and early fall of '97. The group lasted for about a year.
5:04--The universal time of the lot.
Delirium--Point during the night(usually 12 A.M.) where all sanity is lost. Not as common now as it was with the Original Crew .
Code Driving Miss Daisy--Monkey Turd is lurking around the parking log.
The 98 Parking Lot: The Elite 98s had designated a section of the Associates' Parking Lot as the "98 Parking Lot". The only requirements needed to park there are to be a member of the 98 Elite, and to take up at least 4 parking spaces.(Preferably 6 spaces.) The parking lot was disassembled after all the managers started threatening to tow our cars.
The Sports 98s play: Even though the Cart Crew has an extremely hard job, they find the time to have fun. Below are listed a few of the sports 98s play.
Cart Doughnuts: Turn the carts backwards and start running downhill with them. Then, jump on the front and spin in circles until you fall off or the cart flips.
Explosion: Often bottles/cans of coke are left in the parking lot. When shaken up and threw high and long distances, they will explode. 98s compete for the coolest explosion.
Racing: Since the parking lot is downhill(depending if you are at the top or bottom), it would be a waste to not use it for cart racing.
Mule Racing: The mules like to race, so the cart crew line them up every so often. Bessie seems to have the edge.
(Coming soon will be Victor Friar's and recipe's form of "gatorade") 12/1/00
Tim McCravy's Gatorade Recipe: Tim was well-known as the best Gatorade mixer the lot had ever known. Here is his recipe:
First, dump old contents of cooler and wash cooler with hot water.
Second, fill the cooler to the top with ice.
Third, pour the whole container(just the powder, not the actual container) onto the ice and fill to about one incch from the top of the cooler with cold water. The water will melt the ice which was filled to the top.
Fourth, pack the cooler back to the top with ice and put the cooler top back on. The Gatorade is now ready.
Joel Peeples's Strawberry Drink Recipe: Joel got his idea from Jeremy Risner's recipe of mixing any three drinks from the Kool-Aid shelf.
First, dump old contents of cooler and wash cooler with hot water.
Second, put only about 3 inches of cold water in the cooler and pour half strawberry kool-aid can into the cooler.
Next, start scooping ice into the cooler while filling it with more cold water. Stop when cooler is half full.
Pour the rest of the kool-aid into the cooler. Then, get one of the grocery guys to sneak you some fresh strawberries and put them into the cooler.
Mash to strawberries up in the cooler and stir it.
Then fill the cooler with ice and water until it is 2 inches from the top.
For the last step, pack the top full of ice and put the top back on the cooler.